Can I just be honest with you?
I was angry at God! There’s no other way to put it.
I just didn’t understand. I had prayed about this for months. I had asked others to join me. Did He not hear me? Had I not been faithful? Had I not trusted Him?
Why was He not answering my prayers? I stood by and watched, helplessly, as I watched someone I love very much, in pain. The more I watched, the angrier I got.
I’m not proud of this. But I’m just being honest with you.
Have you ever felt this way?
I bet Mary did.
She loved Jesus so much. She had recently been so overwhelmed with love for Him, she had knelt down, poured perfume on His feet and wiped them with her hair. It’s the most precious possession she had. It was symbolic of her gratitude and love for the One who had changed her life.
When Mary’s brother, Lazarus, got sick, she immediately sent word to Jesus. She knew He could heal him!
So, when Jesus got word about Lazarus being so sick, what did He do? Did He immediately rush to their side and heal Lazarus? Surely, that’s what Mary was asking and expecting. After all, someone she (and Jesus) loved dearly was in pain and she desperately needed Him to intervene.
“Yet when (Jesus) heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where He was two more days.” ~ John 11:6
Two days may not seem like a long time looking back on it, but when you’re in the midst of such pain and someone you love is dying, every single moment seems like an eternity. You wait anxiously for Jesus’arrival. You just know He will be there any minute!
Surely, Mary was disappointed and even angry, as she sat there and watched her brother die.
WHERE WAS JESUS?!
It’s in these very moments, that our faith is tested. I’m sorry to say that I found myself questioning God’s love for me, and even angry, as I waited each moment for Him to come. To come and take away the pain.
Mary had faithfully served Him.
She had praised Him.
She had a close relationship with Him.
So had I.
SO WHERE WAS HE?
As we finish reading about Mary, Lazarus and Jesus, we find out that Jesus had very specific reasons for waiting…
“It is for God’s glory and so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” ~ John 11:4
When Jesus arrived, things looked hopeless. It appeared that prayers had gone unanswered. Lazarus had been dead for 4 days.
Mary’s heart was broken as she asked Jesus…
“Where were you?”
“Why did you not come?”
“ If You had, my brother’s life could’ve been saved!”
In spite of Jesus knowing “how the story would end,” the bible says that His spirit was deeply moved and He wept over Mary’s heartbreak and for the death of his friend, Lazarus. Their broken hearts had pierced His heart.
He absolutely cared about Mary’s broken heart!
He had NOT been ignoring her pleas.
He had NOT deserted her.
His plan was just different than hers.
Waiting 4 days after Lazarus died, absolutely displayed God’s glory! Much more so, than healing him 5 days earlier.
Everything Jesus did, brought glory to The Father. That was the purpose for His life. That was at the heart of everything He said and did.
It still is.
Seldom are His plans the same as ours. His ways are so much higher than ours. Bigger than we can fathom or imagine. But 2 things are for sure:
He LOVES you and cares deeply when your heart is broken.
He will be glorified.
How He displays these truths are completely up to Him.
I learned a HUGE lesson! The next time I find myself in those “2 days” of wondering where Jesus is, I will do my best to trust that He has heard my pleas. I will trust that He is on the way. I will trust that His heart is broken over mine and that He will work in the midst of the situation to bring The Father glory!Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your path. ~Proverbs 3:5-6