My kids are thrilled.
Me? I’m not so excited about the sleet/freezing rain that is falling… but it has provided a ‘no-school’ day so my kids are ecstatic. It comes at a perfect time. We could all use some rest. But it also comes with dangerous possibilities. Not only for us, but for so many in our area who could find themselves without power.
As happy as they are, I find myself in a different place so I sneak away to allow my feelings to spill out.
Heavy, hard things are on my heart tonight. It’s difficult to be excited about winter precipitation when there are those that I care deeply about who find themselves in life-changing situations tonight. As I look around, ugly things like cancer has affected so many. It steals dreams, shortens lives, affects families. And I hate it.
And I am reminded, that at any given moment, we can either be experiencing joy from a ‘snow day’ or deep sorrow as a result from an unwanted visitor like cancer or other sicknesses. We never know what others are going through.
As I continue in this journey of life, I see clearly that end results are not promised. The details are left up to God. Sometimes, prayers don’t get answered the way we think they ought to be…and beg them to be. There is a spiritual mystery to it all. And sometimes it’s just plain hard to understand.
In the past, I have gotten bitter and resentful when things play out very differently than I had prayed. Especially when I was praying for something good. Right. Easy for God.
As I look around at the world today, there are many things that just seem to be going wrong. Just yesterday 21 Christians from Libya were beheaded. Cancer seems to be rampant. A mom was shot and killed in Las Vegas, due to road rage, as she was teaching her young daughter how to drive. So many injustices.
And tonight, while my kids are giddy because there will be no school tomorrow, I know a sweet family close by who is gathered around a husband’s/father’s bed as he slips away due to cancer.
But this is what I know.
Even in the hard…especially in the hard, God is there. It may not look like it or feel like it but He is.
He. is. working.
Maybe not in the way we hoped or prayed, but rest assured He is working in ways we may not see or understand while on this earth. And instead of doubting and resisting that, I want to lean into it.
When I read scripture, prayer rarely took away the hard. But it always provided strength and peace in the midst of it.
I have jumped to the wrong conclusion about God so many times. Just as a small child can’t understand why his parent says “no” to candy before dinner or a teenager rebels when his parents forbid him to attend a party that may be dangerous. I, too, may not grasp or agree with God’s answer right now. I’m simply not capable.
But I’ve seen enough to know that He is good. He is in control, in spite of first appearances. And He is working on our behalf.
And I want to learn to trust Him…even in the hard. Especially in the hard.
For He is the ONLY constant in this ever-changing world. His love endures forever. He is the beginning and the end. The first word and the last. And I WILL rest in His unchanging, sacrificial and unconditional love for me.
Is there something hard that you are having to trust Him with? Even when your prayers seemingly aren’t being answered?
I pray that we can lean into Him, friend.
Regardless of our feelings and first appearances. Let’s trust in His unfailing love.